Your mother-in-law might not have put the kibosh on your fancy-dress ball, but buddying up to her has proven to be anything but magical. Thanks to some not-so-nice Hollywood monikers (‘Monster-in-Law’ anyone?), the Difficult Mother-in-Law cliché has been a tuff social construct to shake. If you do find yourself between a mom and a hard place, consider the following suggestions for constructing an assertive, level-headed approach when dealing with the Queen Mum.
a little r-e-s-p-e-c-t
When addressing your mother-in-law:
Establish a first-name basis as with any friend or acquaintance, but avoid those signifiers associated with your own mom
Remember anything uber-cutesy (Mamma, Ma) is a vacancy sign for unregulated input on her part – you may not desire two-cents one hundred percent of the time
Even in the heat of an argument, anything uber-crass is a relapse into teenage-angst-land – keep the casual-Friday irreverence to a minimum
yogi diplomacy
Practice a little pranayama by:
Engaging in the art of yoga-inspired breathing before returning to any topics of controversy
Try not to interpret sharp tones or mannerisms as personal attacks upon yourself
Rise to the occasion and maintain that ‘inside voice’ (you’ll be the bigger person for it)
talk talk
How to voice your concerns:
If you and your mother-in-law are clashing worse than polka dots on stripes:
Seek out the help of your spouse and have him help arrange a meeting between you and you-know-who for lunch or coffee
Plan what you want to say ahead of time, placing emphasis on the importance of you and your new family’s happiness
Don’t be afraid to open up about this new chapter of your life – the two of you just may be harboring some of the same hopes and anxieties
Clever Tip:
Never underestimate the power of comic relief. Why not charm her socks off with a little Austen-esque wit? Garnering a friend in lieu of a foe may take time, but with a backdrop of bubbles, bells, and doves, these more-than-harmonious conditions simply work in your favor.
