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Tips, Tricks & Quips
Posted by Cayla Capri
The Beauty Of Compromise
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A common misconception when it comes to solidifying your wedding vision, is that it automatically gives you the go-ahead for a trip to Splurge Town. Not so fast, all you devil-may-care shop-aholics. Alongside your spouse-to-be, make sure to batten down the hatches of your budget first, so as to avoid the old cold-shoulder later on. Once that’s out of the way, you can get down to the fun stuff, thanks to that clean-as-a-whistle conscience and ample pocket book.
budget constituents
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Without trying to deflate the wedding balloon of bliss, there are certain issues that require fair consideration due to their potential price tag. Composing a wedding checklist will help orientate you in the unfamiliar world of satin and seed pearls, minimizing any risk of a panic attack or a “memory of a goldfish” moment.
Categories to consider are invitations, rehearsal dinner, clergy or officiant fees, venue rentals, bride and groom get-up, rings, flowers, wedding reception costs, wedding cake, catering, entertainment, organists, soloists, attendant gifts, photography, videography, and transportation. (A word to the wise - keep a keen eye on the entertainment, photo, and reception portion of the costs. These three have a sneaky tendency to add up, much to the dismay of any unassuming happy couple).
list for success
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As sensational as the anticipation can be, try not to get too caught up in the moment, as sometimes the groom’s big picture tends to get blindsided. As much as you are a team, you are individuals first – mathematicians everywhere conclude that this equation results in two visions of equal importance. Make sure not to put the bottom-line on any piece of parchment until you’ve both clearly agreed on the priority of your expenditures.
The easiest way to the get the ball rolling, is for each of you to make a list, stating which constituent you could easily leave on the back-burner, and which one you simply couldn’t live without. Then kick back for some chillax compare ‘n’ contrasting. See which items both of you hold close to your heart, and which ones you completely disagree on when it comes to the state of their VIP potential.
fighting the good fight
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There’s no need for anyone to come to fisticuffs over silly budget quibbles. Everyone likes a gal with a little spunk, but you can still shower your love with hugs while sticking to your guns. As Gramps might say – you have to pick your battles. If you do sense a disagreement coming on, try to keep the scope of the argument small and your motivation precise. Now’s not the time to remind him of how he left the seat up for the umpteenth time, nor is it appropriate to recruit overwhelming familial reinforcement. Remember, a compromise always wants to be found out, but a firestorm will only needlessly obstruct it.
sleep on it
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Time is on your side. Give a tense situation the rest it requires in order to diffuse before tackling it all over again come sun-up. A good night’s sleep and some internalized reflection can act as your own personal mediator. You’ll gain a more finely-tuned perspective and a fresher-faced sense of objectivity this way. Keep it real and keep it calm – he’s no mind-reader and neither are you – so be direct, conscientious, and honest. Flex your flexible side when it comes to adjustment-making, ‘cause let’s face it, when was the last time things ever went according to plan? If reality does happen to impede the fantasy, remember what truly matters – each other.